These Are Not The Songs You're Looking For

by Alistair J. Pearson

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about

A collection of the songs people ask for at gigs. Finally available in a "not live" format.

credits

released September 1, 2014

All songs written, recorded, mixed and performed by Alistair J. Pearson except harmonies and additional vocals by James Taplin and percussion/additional vocals/arrangement by Simon Saynor.

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about

Alistair J. Pearson Doncaster, UK

Following a bilateral lung transplant in 2010, I started making loads of noise. The only way you will be able to find out what I do is to listen to my songs. You might even like it. My mum does.

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Track Name: The Binary Song
They say there's only 10 tyoes of people in the world
Those who get it and those who don't
And if I explain it how it was taught to me
You definitely won't.

It's based on the idea that, once you've counted one,
You skip the next eight in line
All the way to ten and then you add on one again
And things just work out fine.

And I say Zero, One , Ten, Eleven, One-Zero-One
Where have those other guys gone?
One, One, One, Zero, Zero, Zero, One
This is my binary song.

Now some might say it's best the other way
With twos and sevens and fours
But, then again, if you skip from one to ten
There's fewer numbers to remember of course.

And if your machine should try and count to three
He'll only end up confused
So we'll keep base ten and leave base two to them
That way we can all be more use.

And I say Zero, One , Ten, Eleven, One-Zero-One
Where have those other guys gone?
One, One, One, Zero, Zero, Zero, One
This is my binary song.
Track Name: Pictures of You
You bought a present for me
On our anniversary
Got me a new camera
Exciting!

My new camera is cool
I simply can't stop using it
I Maybe over-doing it, a bit
Taking pics of everything

I took a picture of you
Out there in the garden
Asked you to take your clothes off
You said "No".
Quite emphatically
If memory serves correctly

I took a picture of you
You were sleeping on the couch
With toast and breadcrumbs round your mouth
You were looking pretty cool

I took a picture of you
While you were on the toilet
And then I put it on the internet
That was a bad move

I took a picture of you
Put it into photoshop
Added a velociraptor
And some chicks with uzis too
Put in a kitten or two
And then I gave you a tattoo
But when I coloured your skin blue and
Pasted you a crew-cut
Well, that seemed to make you made
And you threw things at me

I took a picture of you
Put it onto Tumblr
Also onto Flickr
It's on Facebook too
It was a picture of you
Drunk in a police van
You'd been sticking it right to The Man
The man did not approve
You'd been drinking since 2
And you hit that guy there with that snooker cue
So, The Man gave you some hand-cuffs

I bet you'll be pretty mad
Until they let you out

I took a picture of you
Gazing at a sunset
It's beauty matched by yours & yet
Shyly, you retreat from it
You prefer to play the fool
And, well, I think that I do too.
I love you.
I love you!
Track Name: The Legend of Dandelion and Shoe
It's a day for kicking the heads off dandelions with my shoe
And when the sun is shining
It's my favourite thing to do
So I go out of my way
It puts a big smile on my face
When I'm outside kicking heads off dandelions

It's a day for kicking the heads off dandelions all day long
I was doing it this morning
Now I've put it in this song
So follow me outside
And I think you'll be surprised
How much fun's in kicking heads off dandelions
-
It's not only dandelions you can decapitate with your shoe
You can kick the heads of lots of other flowers too
And if you take a look around,
I'm sure you're bound to see
That you can kick the head off almost anything...
-
You could kick the heads off roses
If their owner's not around
You can kick the head off
Any plant that grows up from the ground
You can kick the heads off daisies
And pink hydrangers too
But you can't kick the heads off trees,
you can't reach them with your shoes

But don't kick the heads off puppies
And don't kick the heads off cats
Don't kick the heads off bunnies either
People hate that
And don't kick the heads off people
Even if they're rude
Someone just might kick your head off too

It's a simple trick to learn
It isn't difficult at all
Just kick the stem
'bout half way up
The way you would a football
The whiplash as it folds around
The front part of your shoe
Should launch that dandelion's head
Way out in front of you

So the next time you're out walking
In the hazy British sun
Why not kick a dandelion's head off...
Just for fun
You'll be addicted right away
You'll want to do it every day
So let's all kick the heads off dandelions

However, in the distant future
After years of evolution
dandelions might lead
A botanical revolution
And we may have set in motion
A chain of dangerous events
And we could all end up as slaves for a race of sentient plants

so..

Maybe kicking heads off dandelions all the time
Isn't such a good idea
It may be ill-advised
Even though as a crime it's almost victimless
And birds can use the stems to line their nests...
I guess I hadn't thought it through
So no matter what you do
Don't kick the heads off dandelions with your shoe.
Track Name: All Our Dreams...
I wish my cats wouldn't fight
I wish my cats wouldn't fight
They make so much noise
I can't sleep at night
I wish my cats wouldn't fight.

Last night I dreamt I was writing this song
When I awoke the dream was gone
I sit here and I close my eyes to light of the morning sun
And in my mind I try to hold on

And I see so much beauty in my dreams
When I wake they sit just out of reach
And hide behind my thoughts
only waking when I sleep

And when the morning comes they're gone
With the rising of the morning sun
I wake to find they're gone

Music is a universe
The universe in me
Infinite and extravert
But, introspectively,
I walk around these busy rooms
Which occupy my head
And marvel at the thought that they
Will all be empty when I'm dead

And yours will too
And so will you
And there's nothing anyone can do
So you can spend your life asleep
Or fill your head with memories
Just remember that
The memory of everything you see
And everything you know
It all goes with you when you go

Dont let it get you down
Maybe you will make a noise so loud
that eternity can't dull the sound
And there'll always be a part of you around
Or maybe that's a lie
Something I just said to make you smile
But your smiling face and the rest of you
Well, they are temporary too.
Come on, don't cry
let's hug each other dry
After all, it's not just you.
Everybody else dies too.

And you see so much beauty in your dreams
When you awake they flit just out of reach
And lie beneath your thoughts
Only waking when you sleep

I wish my cats wouldn't fight
I wish my cats wouldn't fight
They make so much noise I can's sleep at night
I wish my cats wouldn't fight