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A cautionary tale of the dangers of cameras and the internets.


You bought a present for me
On our anniversary
Got me a new camera

My new camera is cool
I simply can't stop using it
I Maybe over-doing it, a bit
Taking pics of everything

I took a picture of you
Out there in the garden
Asked you to take your clothes off
You said "No".
Quite emphatically
If memory serves correctly

I took a picture of you
You were sleeping on the couch
With toast and breadcrumbs round your mouth
You were looking pretty cool

I took a picture of you
While you were on the toilet
And then I put it on the internet
That was a bad move

I took a picture of you
Put it into photoshop
Added a velociraptor
And some chicks with uzis too
Put in a kitten or two
And then I gave you a tattoo
But when I coloured your skin blue and
Pasted you a crew-cut
Well, that seemed to make you made
And you threw things at me

I took a picture of you
Put it onto Tumblr
Also onto Flickr
It's on Facebook too
It was a picture of you
Drunk in a police van
You'd been sticking it right to The Man
The man did not approve
You'd been drinking since 2
And you hit that guy there with that snooker cue
So, The Man gave you some hand-cuffs

I bet you'll be pretty mad
Until they let you out

I took a picture of you
Gazing at a sunset
It's beauty matched by yours & yet
Shyly, you retreat from it
You prefer to play the fool
And, well, I think that I do too.
I love you.
I love you!


from These Are Not The Songs You're Looking For, released September 1, 2014
Percussion by Simon Saynor



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Alistair J. Pearson Doncaster, UK

Following a bilateral lung transplant in 2010, I started making loads of noise. The only way you will be able to find out what I do is to listen to my songs. You might even like it. My mum does.

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