The Legend of Dandelion and Shoe

from by Alistair J. Pearson

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Beware the mortgaging of our distant future through horticultural vandalism.


It's a day for kicking the heads off dandelions with my shoe
And when the sun is shining
It's my favourite thing to do
So I go out of my way
It puts a big smile on my face
When I'm outside kicking heads off dandelions

It's a day for kicking the heads off dandelions all day long
I was doing it this morning
Now I've put it in this song
So follow me outside
And I think you'll be surprised
How much fun's in kicking heads off dandelions
It's not only dandelions you can decapitate with your shoe
You can kick the heads of lots of other flowers too
And if you take a look around,
I'm sure you're bound to see
That you can kick the head off almost anything...
You could kick the heads off roses
If their owner's not around
You can kick the head off
Any plant that grows up from the ground
You can kick the heads off daisies
And pink hydrangers too
But you can't kick the heads off trees,
you can't reach them with your shoes

But don't kick the heads off puppies
And don't kick the heads off cats
Don't kick the heads off bunnies either
People hate that
And don't kick the heads off people
Even if they're rude
Someone just might kick your head off too

It's a simple trick to learn
It isn't difficult at all
Just kick the stem
'bout half way up
The way you would a football
The whiplash as it folds around
The front part of your shoe
Should launch that dandelion's head
Way out in front of you

So the next time you're out walking
In the hazy British sun
Why not kick a dandelion's head off...
Just for fun
You'll be addicted right away
You'll want to do it every day
So let's all kick the heads off dandelions

However, in the distant future
After years of evolution
dandelions might lead
A botanical revolution
And we may have set in motion
A chain of dangerous events
And we could all end up as slaves for a race of sentient plants


Maybe kicking heads off dandelions all the time
Isn't such a good idea
It may be ill-advised
Even though as a crime it's almost victimless
And birds can use the stems to line their nests...
I guess I hadn't thought it through
So no matter what you do
Don't kick the heads off dandelions with your shoe.


from These Are Not The Songs You're Looking For, released September 1, 2014
Baritone vox and additional arrangements by Simon Saynor.



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Alistair J. Pearson Doncaster, UK

Following a bilateral lung transplant in 2010, I started making loads of noise. The only way you will be able to find out what I do is to listen to my songs. You might even like it. My mum does.

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